I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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