Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The ass gains better be worth it
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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