My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
