I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
