why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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