so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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