i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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