AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize