I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize