I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
