i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
