Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize