Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
