Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
