i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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