you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
