I'm pants shitting drunk right now
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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