I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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