wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
