I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize