Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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