oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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