So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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