Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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