She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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