1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
