So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
