They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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