did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize