Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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