So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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