dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
