I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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