I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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