perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We need a shit load of segways right now
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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