Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
