if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
