I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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