Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
