Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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