I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
