I just cut my nipple shaving
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
