Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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