You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
