Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
