In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
