Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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