only if we run a train.
done.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
