you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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