she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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