why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
