My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
