So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
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sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
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Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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