his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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