Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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