The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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