Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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