**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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