So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The power of my boobs compel you
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
