I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
