my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Quick, to the slutcave!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
