question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
