forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
