Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize